(this is a long one...get ready to read)
Sometimes I have a hard time reading blogs that paint a picture of a "perfect life"....perfect house, perfect kids, perfect crafts, home decor, gourmet meals, outings, you name it. I have a hard time with these blogs partly because I think I have to live up to these supermoms and CAN'T and partly because let's face it, they're all big fat lies! Who lives life that seemingly "perfect", constantly tidy, beautifully creative and mess free?! (Ok, maybe some people live that way...bored out their mind people with no other commitments in their life...was that too harsh?). For me, life is crazy, messy, full and hectic...especially when having little munchkins to keep me company throughout the day. JM often reminds me that everything looks good on someone elses blog screen or on a Facebook status.
Time to be real. I do not want anyone of you to ever believe for one millisecond that the Warkentins have a seemingly"perfect life"! NO such thing. There are never ending dirty dishes in my sink...they're like rabbits and continually multiply through out the day. We're a green family and care about our earth but my one guilty necessity...paper plates and paper towels people!! I'm sorry earth but living without a dishwasher....I pull out these bad boys several times a week.
Ok, so dishes are not my only issue...HELLO LAUNDRY!! My word! I wash it...but then clean clothes sit in the laundry baskets for a week or more in the living room!! I can't keep up. How bout toys, craft stuff, markers, paper, books and puzzles continually all over the table and floor. I ask the kids to pick their messes us. Gabriella good at that, Jude, trying.
And then there are the meals that need preparation. If you know me well enough you know that we eat organically, and consume 95% whole foods. Nothing processed, except for maybe whole grain crackers, whole grain cereals in a box, tortilla chips and organic yogurt. We don't own a microwave and the only things in our freezer are frozen fruit, peas and ice. This is a life choice we've made gladly and are thankful for all that the Lord has given us. The hard part of it for me is that I have to prepare everything pretty much from scratch. Although I'm happy to do it and desire to feed our family in this way...preparing meals 3 meals a day takes a bit of time. I feel like I'm in the kitchen all day. And my little munchkins are bottomless pits and ask me for snacks every second of the day...often conveniently when I'm in the middle of making their meals!
Do all these things I'm writing sound like complaints. Honestly "Lord forgive me" if they do. I say all this because this is my life. My chosen life. My dream job life. It's hard sometimes. Mamas, do you relate at all? I wanted to write this for other moms to say, I get it! I have little time for myself. I get overwhelmed too. I love love love my babies but they are work and so dependent . I get tired and impatient. I think this is for a season. Right? When they're little it's hard. Right? But it's precious season and I know it. I think about my babies and how fast they are growing. I will miss this...the mess, the chaos, the stuff on the floor that I trip on. I don't want to wish it way but embrace it. I asked for this and God blessed me abundantly.
Now, there are many many beautiful things about my life....our faith, my husband, my kids, our family, our church, our garden, our neighborhood, our health, our friends....on and on.....It's just not a "perfect life"....well, wait, YES it is. It's the life He's given us, so yes, it's perfect. Just not tidy, just not always organized, not crumb, stain or chaos free. Embrace it. Embrace it!! Love it and ask God for strength, wisdom and a heaping portion of patience for your little munchkins.
Ok, so the reason I say all of this is because I had a overwhelming meltdown on my dear darling husband's birthday! I wanted his day to be special. I asked him what he wanted to do for his B-day weeks ago. He's a simple man..."I want to go body boarding at the beach and I want a chocolate cake". Done! Or so I thought. That morning I had choir rehearsal for our Easter service. I then went to the store to get all I needed for his vegan chocolate cake. Henry's didn't have the dutch press cocoa powder so I still had to get that. Came home, made lunch for the brood. Then we were planning to go to the beach. Jude would take a short nap in the car...not his normal 2.5 hours but ok, I would have to pack all the necessities for the beach including snacks, bathing suits, sunscreen yada yada, I still wanted to come back and make JM a really nice dinner and his requested chocolate cake. I freaked. Freaked. Melt down. Couldn't do it all. Didn't know how I would find the strength to do it! Cry cry cry....long convo with JM about it...a disappointed little girl in her bathing suit.... Beach scrapped....cake...sadly scrapped. I made JM one of his favorite dinners, we went to the park with the kids and threw the frisbee around. Happy Birthday. I felt bad. Really bad. He was gracious but was honestly disappointed earlier before our talk. I don't blame him at all. The man asked for so little. I failed and beat myself up. He didn't beat me up. He was understanding. A little bumbed but understanding. I had had it and broke down. The week was crazy, too much on my plate and I'm pregs. Oh, I think most of you who read this blog know this. Yes, I am pregs again and so my hormones aren't helping matters. My dear JM. I so wanted to make him his cake...I hope it happens soon. The Lord is my strength and doesn't give us anything we can't handle.
Rewind to a couple of weeks ago....Here is sweet JM opening up his B-day gift. This was a no fail gift! He loved it. I bought him a authentic German Bayern Munchen soccer jersey. This is his team...I mean it's really his team, even since he was a kid in Germany. I had to buy it on line...Euros and all and needed my mother in law to translate the German for me. Finally figured out I could click on an "english" button. Hello! I was so excited to give this to him so we asked him to open early. I couldn't bare to think this beautiful jersey was under my side of the bed and he wasn't enjoying it! He's precious and the most wonderful man I could have ever asked for. We're good. All is well and we will continue to live our chaotic life...giving thanks for all that we have. The birthday cake-less fiasco of 2011 will be remembered and laughed about. For those of you that know me well...all I have to say is "Pot stickers of 2006" Did I make you spit your coffee out?
Happy JM. He looks like he could be on the team. It's fun to make him smile!
5 comments:
I wish I was home to have made the cake...sorry :-(
I almost spit out what I was eating! Pot stickers is probably my favorite prego story! I hear you on the struggle with keeping up with housework and having time for all the things that are most important. Last Sat Mike took the boys to a car show for 4-5 hrs and what did I do with my free time? I deep cleaned our floors. It was the only time I could think to do it without having little hands and feet undoing everything. My house was gloriously clean for 15 min...and then they came home. It's been hard for me not to get frustrated when lots of food ends up on the floor after every meal. I don't have a solution but I understand!
Next time you guys go to the beach but need to make something you could always make it here. I'm pretty sure I have the cocoa and we would always love to see you :)
You do an amazing job as a wife and a mom... you are loved and I am confident that chocolate cake will get made=) love you friend!
Oh, I'm so with you, friend. Keeping the house (and myself) from catapulting over the edge is a constant battle. It's harder than it looks--and it doesn't look nearly as good as what everyone else sees! Thanks for showing reality--and be encouraged that you're not alone in the struggle.
Thanks for being so candid about life with the Warks. At the end I didn't know if I was crying because JM didn't get the chocolate cake (ha) or because it reminded me of life as a young mother. Life with little children is so chaotic, wonderful, tiring, fulfilling, and precious. In our minds we are so grateful but, nevertheless, sometimes overwhelmed. You both are doing a great job at modeling lives on a journey of serving Jesus and discipling your children. That will have a long lasting effect on generations to come!
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